Holiday Blues and Christmas Tears
by Lunatic Silver
Summary: Anna hates this time of year. And she feels bad, because very soon, Jeremy most likely will too. Jeremy/Anna, slight Ben/Anna. Set between 1x12 and 1x13.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own _The Vampire Diaries_ nor its characters. They belong to L.J. Smith, Kevin Williamson, Julie Plec, The CW Network, and whoever else.

**Note/Warning:** Written because there needs to be more Christmas fic. And there should be more Christmas fic with Jeremy/Anna. And since there are Christmas decorations up in 1x12, I'm assuming Christmas happened between 1x12 and 1x13 (since apparently 1x14 is either at New Year's or already in 2010). Also, I decided to toss in that siring thing. Not sure why, but I thought it worked.

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><p><strong>Holiday Blues &amp; Christmas Tears<strong>

Anna hates Christmas. Ignoring the fact that she's a few centuries old, a vampire, and never came from a Christian background, she hates the cheesy commercials, the crowds, and how damn bright it stays late into the night.

Ben of course goes on and on about how commercialized it is, and that it's a ridiculous holiday anyway, and ranting about PC nonsense that Anna really doesn't care about to begin with. Somewhere in his ramblings, she thinks he's trying to tell her that he hates it too.

Great. Another thing they have in common after he finds out how she feels about the subject in question. She loves it when they discover new things to share.

Fortunately, Ben is not always quick to pick up on her sarcasm, so when she tells him how thrilled she is they can find comfort in each other's hatred of the holiday, he merely smirks and makes a comment reiterating that Christmas does, indeed, blow.

Anna tries calling Jeremy again.

He's probably busy with family events, and founding family holiday events - she's pretty certain the Lockwoods are throwing a Christmas charity fundraiser at their house that's nothing more than an excuse for everyone wealthy enough to go to get drunk on eggnog while Mayor Dick Lockwood upholds his good image.

But she tries him anyway, because she needs an excuse to get away from Ben for a while. Especially when she hears Ben starting to talk about a horrible Christmas a couple of years ago - which is probably the real source of his distaste for the holiday, and not the generic reasons given moments ago. Anna is so not interested.

After a couple of rings, Jeremy - mercifully - answers. "Hello?"

"Hey, Jeremy!" she exclaims a little too cheerfully for Ben's liking. She ignores his sour look. "It's Anna. Look, I'm really sorry about ditching you the other night. I just, I thought something was wrong with my eye, but it was fine."

"You sure? It looked kind of serious." Jeremy doesn't sound concerned, really, but he doesn't want to be rude; Anna knows this tone, because she's used it more times than she can count.

She's going to have to work extra hard on this one - which is odd, because she didn't think she'd have to, not with the current lack of friends on his end. But perhaps she underestimated his self-respect; it wasn't hard to do after watching him walk around stoned two thirds of the time, chasing after the Donovan girl.

"I'm severely allergic to cats. Someone nearby must have one. Bane of my existence - I'm going to wind up a catless cat lady," she jokes, self-depricatingly. She thinks that will work better than puffing herself up or taking jabs at him.

Jeremy laughs on the other end - a little disbelieving, a little genuinely humored. "I can only imagine."

Anna laughs a little and then asks, casually, "So, are you up to anything this afternoon? My mom and I wrapped up school early, I've done all my work for it, and was hoping to maybe play some fooseball?"

"I don't know. My aunt wants us to help put up the Christmas decorations, and Elena's trying to bail already. I'd feel bad bailing too, and leaving Jenna alone to do everything."

Great. Foiled again. Though Anna isn't certain why it's such a big deal, because she knows he doesn't have the journal. She should be going after that. Right now. She should ditch Ben and his personal Christmas angst, and go get that damn journal. Only she isn't certain yet if it's at the school or at the teacher's apartment.

But she could go find out which.

Ben is watching her, reading her - acting like he knows her already, can tell what she's thinking or feeling. She really hates that.

Noah acted the same way, but at least he'd known her over a century. Maybe they hadn't spent the whole time together, but he still knew her fairly well. He'd seen her during her biggest transitions and personal growth. And now he's dead. Just like that. Because he didn't stick to the plan. He let his obsession get in the way.

Kind of like what she's doing now.

While Ben looks at her like he knows he's about to get ditched, like he knows he'll be out of favor soon.

Anna feels a little guilty. She isn't good at being a sire. She's never been good at taking care of people. She isn't Mother. But she's lonely, and Ben is really just an act, and Jeremy is...just an act. Only a little more fun. Or something. She isn't quite sure.

"But, um, if you want to, we could always use the extra help, "Jeremy adds after a short pause while Anna mulls over deep thoughts in her head. "Maybe you can help Jenna get me in the Christmas spirit - or help keep me out of it."

Anna laughs, genuine. "I'll more likely be the latter."

"Really?" Jeremy sounds genuinely surprised. "I kind of pegged you for loving this sort of thing."

Once upon a time, she did. She remembers old fashioned holidays, and warm fires, and hot apple cider. She remembers yule logs and Christmas trees with real candles. She remembers the miracle of winding up under the mistletoe with George Lockwood on the Lockwood mansion front porch - and her first real kiss with a boy.

"Yeah, well, it's just, been kind of rough for my mom and I. Christmas isn't how it used to be."

Jeremy doesn't speak for a moment, and when he does, Anna can tell he's in pain. "Yeah. Yeah, Christmas won't be the same for us this year, that's for sure."

Anna closes her eyes, and ignores Ben making an annoyed, disgusted noise - he's told her on several occasions to just compel the pathetic kid and be done with it - and remembers that this year is going to be one of the worst Christmases ever for Jeremy Gilbert.

"Has your sister bailed?"

"Yeah."

Anna pauses, knowing she will regret this, and then forces out a smile and a chipper tone of voice. "Then how about I come over, help you and your aunt, and maybe she can get us both in the Christmas spirit. And maybe if we're extra helpful, she'll let us go play fooseball afterwards if it's not too late."

When Jeremy replies, he sounds genuine and happy and like he's warming up to her more. "That sounds great, Anna. I'll see you in a few."

"Be there soon," she promises and hangs up.

Ben watches her. He wants to say something, but she's up already. So he watches, sulking, sour-faced. He shifts his gaze to the TV, flipping channels by hitting the button a lot harder than he should. He'll be in a foul mood all night, and she'll either have to screw him or take him hunting to get him in better spirits, but she'll worry about that later.

"I'll be back. Try not to get into trouble," she tells him. She means for it to sound playful, she does, but instead she sounds like a nag. She doesn't bother to care and walks out the door.

Ben will find someone else. He'll move on, just like Anna already is - they were never a serious thing to begin with, and it's only because of that ridiculous siring thing that he's as attached as he is. He's the first one to do it to her, and at first it was a blessing, but Anna is suffocating under the weight of his loyalty and clinginess.

So she walks away from the cheap motel and heads for the Gilbert house, where a boy who she should hate is waiting for her, ready to put up Christmas decorations while his aunt probably blares some really sappy Christmas music or puts on a sappy Christmas flick. She'll be faced with good tidings and holiday cheer, with memories she doesn't want to relive until her mother is there to relive them with her.

Most of all, she'll be there when the reality sinks in, that there won't be a whole family sitting by the tree Christmas morning. That Jeremy won't get what he really wants for Christmas. And for some reason she can't quite grasp, she kind of wants to be there for him when that happens.


End file.
